One More Meaningless Report, Ten More Meaningless Suggestions

Yet another commission is about to release yet another report concerning 9/11. This time, they plan to list ten ways that the 9/11 attacks might have been avoided. Yet, we’ve already been told that most of the ten are “long shots” and would require “a lot of luck” to have fallen into place. So why bother? In light of this new report, I’ve decided to serve my country here and list a few of my own ideas for how the 9/11 attacks might have been prevented:

1. If all the hijackers had caught a cold on September 10th, perhaps they would have needed to stay home. I’m sure we have some super-secret flu bug tucked away in a military base that could have accidentally been let loose.



2. If several of the hijackers had been eaten by alligators in the Florida swamp while they were training at flight schools in that state.



3. If Bill Clinton had not been so busy with Monica in the Oval Office.



4. If the Northeast power failure had only happened a year earlier.



5. If America didn’t exist.



6. If we had turned the Middle East into a glass parking lot after the first Gulf War.



7. If George Bush had honed his ESP abilities or only read the secret, invisible ink on the briefing page he received in August.



8. If we ceased to use air travel.



9. If we had been like France and Russia and had secretly cut deals with terrorist organizations to give them money and weapons.



10. If we had an airport screening system that actually screened suspicious looking characters instead of the politically correct system we have now that allows limited screening.

Those are just a few thoughts. Anyone else have any ideas of how we can beat a dead horse a little more by coming up with meaningless “insights” into how we might have acted if we could read the future?