Top Ten Reasons John Kerry Gives for Leaving the Toilet Seat Up

As the Democratic National Convention continually seems to take it self way too seriously (with the exception of Al Gore's self-deprecating comments last night), a little counter-programming seemed appropriate:



The Top Ten Reasons John Kerry Gives for Leaving the Toilet Seat Up

10. In Vietnam, where I earned three purple hearts, the toilet seat was always left up.

9. That is how Ralph Nader does it, and I want to appeal to his supporters.

8. I believe bathroom etiquette begins with putting the toilet seat down, but do not believe Congress should legislate seat position.

7. I did not actually leave my own toilet seat up, it was actually the toilet seat of another Vietnam veteran.

6. As John Edwards says, there are actually 2 Americas, one where the toilet seat is left up, another where it is left down.

5. As president, I would appoint a Toilet Seat Czar to look into this issue, and provide a single point of contact for all toilet agencies.

4. Toilet seats are a morality issue, and should really be left up to the states to decide.

3. I would like to see toilet seats left down only at the direction of the United Nations.

2. It is not my toilet seat. It is actually my wife's toilet seat.



And the number 1 reason given by John Kerry for leaving the toilet seat up...

1. I put the toilet seat down before I put it back up.

(Credit where credit is due: thanks to my brother CRChair for numbers 1 and 2!)