Archer Would So Do This

I've been reading Dear Abby for a while now and this question was posted today. I can so see Archer handling the situation this way. I think the criminals got what they deserved.

"DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I returned home after mowing the lawn at my mother's place and parked my truck behind my house. I left the lawnmower and a 5-gallon can of gas in the bed of my truck and went into the house for a drink of water. When I returned, the gas can was missing.

I bought another can, filled it with gas and added 2 pounds of sugar. Again, I parked my truck in the same spot with the gas can visible. An hour later, it too had disappeared.

A short while later, I noticed a neighbor's son and his friends pushing his car up the street. They said they had "engine problems." My wife thinks what I did was wrong and that I should offer to pay for this lad's engine repairs. What do you think? -- "A-GASSED" IN ILLINOIS

DEAR "A-GASSED": I disagree with your wife. What if the boys had another kind of engine problem and this was just a coincidence? I'm sure whoever stole your gas got an expensive lesson. Let's hope it also saved them from a life of crime."