DVD Quickie Reviews

Battlefield Earth

Rating: Unwatchable

Way back when, I heard that L. Ron Hubbard's science fiction novel Battlefield Earth was being made into a movie. Hunh. Interesting, I thought. I had never read Battlefield Earth, since I was repulsed by Hubbard's scientology "religion," but had heard a good thing here and there from some sci-files here and there. Then I heard it was being made by JohN Travolta, one of Hubbards biggest scientology boosters in Hollywood, and I groaned. I resolved not to see the film in the theater or ever buy the DVD. No way was I going to support these efforts. Then the reviews came out, universally horrible, and I was glad I had made the decision.



Well, one of the downsides to NetFlix is that it is SO EASY to make a dumb choice, because you can always have 3 movies at a time from them at no extra cost. So finally, I decided to order Battlefield Earth and see how bad it really way. I watched it this weekend, and let me just say if you thought it was bad, you were wrong. It is just about unwatchable. Does anyone remember the first DUNE movie, where they tried to adapt Frank Herbert's complex political/religious novel to the screen. Remember how at least 10 times during the movie you saw or heard something and realized you were completely lost? The only thing that really redeemed that film were the amazing costume and special effects designs. Battlefield Earth is the same way... except that there are no redeeming values to it. The cinematography is clearly from the "sound and fury signifying nothing" camp. Whenever you are in a moment of the film where there is not actual dialgue happening, they play bombastic music and strobe through a thousand images - not always related. And when you are in a dialogue-driven portion of the film, you are amazed that anyone thought the words coming out of the actor's mouths could be considered "dialogue." Dialogue implies back and forth discussion, not shouted slogans and greasy semi-conherent alien mediations on the beauty of corruption.



In the end, there was nothing I liked about this film. And that is saying a lot. I am the kind who tends to be able to find a redeeming quality in any film. I hated AIR FORCE ONE for its horrible writing (can we give the villain ANY motivation?) but appreciated Harrison Ford. I hated BEING JOHN MALKOVICH for its horrible morality (So slavery is okay so long as you genetically engineered for it?!) but appreciated the smart writing and clever acting. I hated JFK for literally putting me to sleep, but appreciated... well... that some people liked it. This one has NO redeeming value. No writing. No effects worth their salt. No acting of any special note. Even the credits and subtitles looked slipshod. Avoid this film like the plague.



Transpotting: Collector's Edition

Rating: R

What can you say about a film that depicts heroin addiction, a dead infant, and absolutely random and amoral violence? What can you say about a film that starts out by making fun of consumer culture, and ends by endorsing it as better than the alternative? Amazingly, while this film deals with horrifying issues and in no way lifts the human spirit, it is as watchable as BATTLEFIELD EARTH is UNwatchable. The film portrays Ewan McGregor in one of his early films as a heroin addict struggling to find a way out of the pleasure/pain/depression cycle, who is constantly dragged back down by his friends. McGregor is brilliant in the film, somehow creating a character with almost no redeeming qualities that the audience cares about and desperately wants to see win. And the imagery is amazingly simple but powerful as it shows us clearly (if somewhat metaphorically) the descent of the junkie into madness and death. What can you say about a film where one of the early shots is the hero diving into a toilet after a few tablets that accidentally fell in?



That is not to say that I am recommending this film unreservedly. Trainspotting, as you can tell from the imagery I have already mentioned, is a very raw and uncomfortable film. It is NOT appropriate for the feint of heart or children or even most teens that I know. Its morality is very muddled and mixed up, where the only thing that resembles a universal good is the conviction that you have to stand by a friend, even if they are treating you horribly. But even then, only up to to a point. This film is for an audience that wants to be challenged, and not for someone looking for an excuse to eat popcorn or something to simply fill the hours.



But it is an excellent film. If you have the time, the interest, the moral fiber, and the attention span, consider checking this one out.