Tool Award

Now that New Jersey governor McGreevey has come out as an adulterous gay American, it will undoubtedly not take long before a new civil rights movement comes up to protect the rights of adulterous gay Americans throughout the country. After all, even though this group might be a very tiny minority, it is important that they are treated just like all non-adulterous straight Americans.



Kudos to this brave man for daring to stand up and proudly proclaim, "I am an adulterous gay American!" My eyes wet when I think of the courage. Our culture is so bigoted against adulterers, and the fact that Governor McGreevey is a gay adulterer will certainly make his path that much more difficult. And think of how brave he is in boldly holding onto his post for another three months in order to ensure "a well-planned transfer to another Democrat." Just imagine what could happen in the evil Republicans managed to win the seat if our brave, adulterous, gay, American governor gave the up the post immediately. New Jersey might no longer be safe for adulterous gay Americans.



So, Governor McGreevey, for defending your political party before the interest of your state, for sexually harassing a staff member paid absurd amounts of money to perform a job he was underqualified to have, for reminding us that sexual harassment doesn't have to only be for straights, and especially for lifting the plight of adulterous gay Americans high, you are a model example of what it means to be a tool! Congratulations!