"Living together" doesn't soothe the pains of divorce

It is almost a truism in my generation - "A couple should live together before they marry to test-drive the relationship." Even among some claiming the cross of Christ, it has become a de facto arrangement for many (the excuse usually being reduced expenses of cohabitation). But ethicists and theologians have warned for years that cohabitation is just like a marriage - without the assurance of actual promises or the protection of law. Now, we have proof in a new study which shows that cohabitating couples who split have all of the same pain and problems of divorcing spouses, but without any of the social or legal protections that married couples have available to them.

"I don't think there's any difference in how I felt after the fact, because it felt like it was a marriage," Emerson says. And when they broke up, "it still felt like it was a divorce."
Cohabiting is a significant emotional attachment, and when you break up, "it's going to hurt a lot," says Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. "By cohabiting vs. marrying, people aren't avoiding that aspect of pain."
And because cohabiting has become so widespread — more than 60% of couples who marry today live together first, studies have found — the number of court battles between former partners and the number of cohabitation agreements have increased during the past five years, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

There's a reason marriage was created - to provide a stable foundation for family, and to protect those willing to give up their own lives for those they love. Modern cohabitation has not improved upon it.

Religion will NOT become extinct, but thanks for playing

A new study has been making the rounds, and generating a lot of chatter online. It claims that religion may be going extinct in 9 countries, which many commentators use as evidence that belief in God overall is on the way out. The same methodology was used previously to predict the extinction of traditional languages in favor or various trade languages like English.

Dr Wiener continued: "In a large number of modern secular democracies, there's been a trend that folk are identifying themselves as non-affiliated with religion; in the Netherlands the number was 40%, and the highest we saw was in the Czech Republic, where the number was 60%."

The team then applied their nonlinear dynamics model, adjusting parameters for the relative social and utilitarian merits of membership of the "non-religious" category.

They found, in a study published online, that those parameters were similar across all the countries studied, suggesting that similar behaviour drives the mathematics in all of them.

And in all the countries, the indications were that religion was headed toward extinction.

There is no doubt that religious affiliation and practice is on the decline in many secular democracies. The last study I read indicated that only America among the Western states remains vibrant religiously, but noted that affiliation with organized religion is still on the wane.

But the fact is that while religions wax and wane with time, they (1) serve useful social functions in perpetuating ethics and providing hope in adversity, and (2) there seems to be a primal human desire for God. It is likely while religion was on the wane during the boom years of the 90s and early 2000s (which is most of the data being studied now), that as adversity was on the rise post-9/11 and in the time of tsunamis, people will be turning back to religion for comfort and a reminder that there are truths larger than ourselves.

Single Men Don't Fear Marriage

There is a common assumption in modern American culture about single men. They're all immature boy-men who flee from commitment like Japanese extras from Godzilla. But a new study appears to put the lie to this sterotype, showing American men want families just as much as their female counterparts.

Single men are, on the whole, as likely to want to get married as single women, the survey found. They are more likely than women to be open to dating people of a different race or religion, more prone to falling in love at first sight, more eager to combine bank accounts sooner and more likely to want children. (That distant choking sound you hear is thousands of women finding this news hard to swallow.)

...Men's greater inclination toward parenthood, however, seems to hold across every age group. While more than half the single men ages 21 to 35 wanted kids, only 46% of the women did. After that, the difference widens further, and not just out of biological reality. Only 16% of childless women in the still fertile years from 35 to 44 wanted kids; 27% of the men did. Plus, more women than men were prepared to say definitively that they were skipping parenthood.

Hat tip to CRChair for this article. It makes this single man feel better that he is not alone.

Can you be angry at a hypothetical?

As a Christian, I have often been questioned by unbelievers who have one simple question, "How can you believe in a God who allowed _________?" You can fill in the blank with some wrenching personal experience, whether it be 9/11, a divorce, a death, a miscarriage, or something even worse. While many atheists claim their beliefs are purely logic-based (and perhaps some are), a new study shows that for many unbelief comes as much from anger as anything else.

People unaffiliated with organized religion, atheists and agnostics also report anger toward God either in the past, or anger focused on a hypothetical image - that is, what they imagined God might be like - said lead study author Julie Exline, Case Western Reserve University psychologist.

In studies on college students, atheists and agnostics reported more anger at God during their lifetimes than believers. A separate study also found this pattern among bereaved individuals...

And younger people tend to be angrier at God than older people, Exline said. She says some of the reasons she's seen people the angriest at God include rejection from preferred colleges and sports injuries preventing high schoolers from competing.

There is a very old saying among Christians, that people are born with a God-sized hole in their heart. Humans seem to have an instinctive intuition that there is a higher being, and even those who deny His existence still have strong feelings toward Him.

Falling in Love Costs You Friends

It's a common stereotype that anyone who falls in love has no time for friends - so common that it is the plot of countless Hollywood movies. It turns out that science backs up the theory. Studies of social networks - real ones, not just Facebook - show the innermost circle of friends constricts when a new love interest enters the picture.

"People who are in romantic relationships - instead of having the typical five [individuals] on average, they only have four in that circle," explained Robin Dunbar, a professor of evolutionary anthropology at Oxford.

"And bearing in mind that one of those is the new person that's come into your life, it means you've had to give up two others."...

The results confirmed the widely held view that love can lead to a smaller support network, with typically one family member and one friend being pushed out to accommodate the new lover.

"The intimacy of a relationship - your emotional engagement with it - correlates very tightly with the frequency of your interactions with those individuals," observed Professor Dunbar.

"If you don't see people, the emotional engagement starts to drop off, and quickly.

Exercise does NOT always equal Weight Loss

If you believe gyms or advertising equipment manufacturers, then the key to weight loss is exercise. Want to lose those love handles? Just hop on an exercise bike, find a climbing wall, or pop on your running shoes. In fact, some advertisements make it seem like once you're working out, you can eat whatever you want.

But studies are showing that exercise alone does not lead to weight loss. Instead, the body - when faced with increased activity alone - attempts to maintain homeostasis and actually makes you more hungry to compensate for the calories lost.

This is why it is key to pair exercise with a change in diet.

Key to Cancer Spread Discovered

Cancer in one part of the body is horrible enough. But one of the disease's most terrifying characteristics is its ability to spread to other parts of the body, making it difficult or impossible to treat effectively. But now, doctors believe they have discovered the gene responsible for this sinister trick. This could lead to treatments far more effective in prolonging and savings lives of cancer victims.

The process called epithelial-mesenchymal transdifferientiation (EMT) has been known to play a role in releasing cells (epithelial cells) on the surface of the solid tumor and transforming them into transient mesenchymal cell: cells with the ability to start to grow a new tumor.
This is often the fatal process in breast, ovarian, pancreatic and colon-rectal cancers..."This is the major piece in cancer research that has been missing," Jin said.

This is one of those once-in-a-lifetime discoveries that could transform treatments and save lives.

You *CAN* be "bored to death"

"Bored to death" is a common expression, especially for anyone who has spent time at the DMV. But a new study indicates it may not be just an expression. It may be scientific fact.

Those who reported feeling a great deal of boredom were 37 per cent more likely to have died by the end of the study, the researchers found.

Scientists said that this could be a result of those unhappy with their lives turning to such unhealthy habits as smoking or drinking, which would cut their life expectancy.

"The findings on heart disease show there was sufficient evidence to say there is a link with boredom," the Courier Mail quoted researcher Martin Shipley, who co-wrote the report, as saying.

I can't help thinking about the many anecdotal stories of in excellent health dying suddenly after retirement. Without a feeling of purpose, humans seem to quickly lose a reason to live.

Only single men buy underwear

There are some facts strange enough to be entirely unforeseen, but also seem obvious once stated. I think a new department store study of men falls into that category.

According to a department store, men buy pants for a mere 17 years of their lives, with the women in their life shopping for male underwear most of the time...

A survey of Debenham shoppers suggested that throughout their childhood and teenage years boys rely on their mothers to pick out their underwear. After a brief period of independence between the ages of 19 and 36 when men chose their own boxers or briefs, they then settle down and hand over the responsibilities to their girlfriends or wives.

Do my married friends find this to be one of the great advantages of wedded bliss? I will admit that it is not one of the aspects that makes me look forward to it for myself.

Daily Candy Intake Leads to Crime?

This is one of those studies which may turn out to be an excellent example of "correlation does not equal causation." But researchers from Cardiff University are claiming that daily candy intake leads to a significantly increased risk of being convicted of a violent crime by 34. The researchers are careful to avoid blaming the sugary snacks themselves.

So, does this mean parents should ban sweets entirely?

Not necessarily, Moore said. A possible explanation for the candy-violence association is that giving children sweets and chocolate regularly may prevent them from learning to delay gratification. That, in turn, may encourage impulsivity, which is linked to delinquency.

"We think that it is more to do with the way that sweets are given to children rather than the sweets themselves," Moore said. "Using sweets to quiet noisy children might just reinforce problems for later in life."

I am sure that we'll see a contradictory study soon sponsored by the Nestle corporation conducted in the vicinity of Hershey, PA.

Sabbath Days really work

Once upon a time, the Sabbath Day's Rest - one day a week totally free from work - was considered a core American value. It came out of the Judeo-Christian heritage but was observed by pretty much all walks of life. But as the 20th century washed over us, it became harder and harder to take off any time from work. And the 21st century has made it even worse with cell phones and Blackberries that make it virtually impossible to avoid your coworkers when they want to reach you. In some areas of my company, workaholics think nothing of sending an e-mail at 2 AM and castigating a coworker for not responding immediately.

But new studies are indicating that days off are not only a "good thing", but key to productivity. Consulting companies are finding if they enforce "time off" provisions and require workers to be home for dinner, their other work hours are more productive and their stress levels are reduced. Those with poor work habits are exposed, highlighting the need to learn basic time management skills. And, it forces project teams to communicate, because they all know that the "expert" will be unavailable at least one day a week.

This is a lesson that America needs to learn quickly. We've always valued hard work, but in the Recession it is starting to look like we ONLY value hard work. But there are many other things that make life worth living.

Resetting your Sleep Clock

While our vacation this year stayed exclusively in Eastern Standard Time, I know that a number of Mod-Bloggers have to switch between time zones as they visit friends and family. So, they may be interested to learn about a new study which claims it is possible to reset your sleep clock in a single night. What is the secret? Fasting!

Simply stop eating during the 12-16 hour period before you want to be awake. Once you start eating again, your internal clock will be reset as though it is the start of a new day. Your body will consider the time you break your fast as your new "morning."

For example, if you want to start waking up at 2:00 am, you should start fasting between 10:00 am or 2:00 pm the previous day, and don't break your fast until you wake up at 2:00 am. Make sure you eat a nice healthy meal to jumpstart your system.

This could be invaluable to frequent travelers, and infrequent travelers with a desperate need to stay awake at a wedding. :-)

Religion is no protection for the unborn

It is said your character is defined NOT by what you do in public, but what you do when alone with no one watching. Most of us put on a mask of righteousness and morality in church, at school, at work, and when out and about. But what happens when no one is watching.

A new study suggests despite much noise amongst religious folks against abortion, when alone with their decision, religious women decide to abort their babies as often as non-religious ones. Church affiliation - even overt practice - appears to provide no protection to the unborn.

"This research suggests that young, unmarried women are confronted with a number of social, financial and health-related factors that can make it difficult for them to act according to religious values when deciding whether to keep or abort a pregnancy," she said.

The results of the study did not reveal a significant link between a young woman’s reported decision to have an abortion and her personal religiosity, as defined by her religious involvement, frequency of prayer and perception of the importance of religion.

Is it any surprise that Pro-Abortion groups call Pro-Life groups hypocrites? We need more groups like Hopeline who provide alternatives to abortion, while maintaining absolute confidentiality for those ashamed to bring a baby to term. And we need to make a greater effort to teach our children that a baby is a bless - even though it makes life very difficult - even outside of wedlock.

Cola Addicts Experience Weakness

During my weight-loss journey, one of the first things I did to cut calorie consumption was to cut out soda altogether. I like water and juices, so it has been easy to switch and it automatically has made every trip to a restaurant healthier by reducing the sugar intake. But a new study is showing that the only danger in cola is not sugar, but also a combination of problems which can lead to muscle weakness.

The first, a 21 year-old woman, was consuming up to three litres of cola a day and complained of fatigue, appetite loss and persistent vomiting. An electrocardiagram also revealed she had a heart blockage, while blood tests showed she had low potassium levels.
The second also had low potassium levels and was suffering from increasing muscular weakness. It turned out she had been drinking up to seven litres of cola a day for the last 10 months.
In a commentary on the paper, Dr Clifford Packer from the Louis Stokes Cleveland VA Medical Centre in Ohio relates the strange case of the ostrich farmer who returned from the Australian outback with muscle weakness. He had been drinking four litres of cola a day for the last three years and drank up to 10 litres a day when he was in the outback, causing a rapid reduction in his potassium levels.

I know several people who have switched from coffee to cola for their daily caffeine fix, because of the perception that it is healthier. I wonder how many of them are suffering from muscle weakness and have no idea that the cause is the fizzy drink in their hands.

Americans are losing their religions

A new study is confirming what we have been expecting. Americans of this generation are far less religious than those of past generations. Of most interest to me was the fact that the change does not appear to be specific to region or ethnic group, and even unassimilated immigrants are tracking with the trend. Does this mean that we are headed toward purely secular societies like Europe, or is it a sign that the poll is too tied to older religion designations and is ignoring new movements like the "Emerging Church"?

Drinking water to lose weight is a failure

A new study is out which suggests that drinking water to lose weight is ineffective, although eating foods with a high water content can help. Actually, the study measured waist sizes and not weight, but the two are usually comparable.

This matches my own experience. I have always drunk a lot more water than anyone else of my age/weight/height and it has not helped nor hindered my effort to lose or maintain weight. It can be useful in making you feel a bit more full when you are desperate for "something", but overall it just tends to make you have to pee a lot more often.

Is Happiness a lack of options?

Time Magazine has up an interesting article on a recent study about happiness. The cusp of the story is that people are HORRIBLE at predicting what will make them happy, and that happier people are those who do not dwell upon the "what-ifs" of what could have been.

Envisioning what life would have been like with an alternate spouse becomes difficult and increasingly irrelevant as you settle into the life you've selected. "Once you make a choice in life, the unchosen alternatives evaporate," he says. According to Gilbert's earlier research, which he featured in his 2006 book, Stumbling on Happiness, when faced with an irrevocable decision, people are happier with the outcome than when they have the opportunity to change their minds. "It's a very powerful phenomenon," he says. "This is really the difference between dating and marriage."

I have a number of friends who are against the concept of "dating" because they feel it encourages lack of commitment. They prefer "courting" where you only "date" one person at a time, and only begin if you believe the process will end in marriage. This study may be an argument in their favor.

Death Penalty *IS* a Deterrent

For the longest time, a mantra from the anti-Death Penalty crowd has been "There is no evidence that the Death Penalty is a deterrent to crime." Of course, for those who support the Death Penalty, this has not been an effective argument since they believe that punishment is a sufficient reason for the penalty (as it is ONLY used for the MOST heinous crimes). However, a new studies claim that a deterret has been shown.

What gets little notice, however, is a series of academic studies over the last half-dozen years that claim to settle a once hotly debated argument — whether the death penalty acts as a deterrent to murder. The analyses say yes. They count between three and 18 lives that would be saved by the execution of each convicted killer.

The reports have horrified death penalty opponents and several scientists, who vigorously question the data and its implications.

What do Mod-Bloggers think? Is the Death Penalty effective? Does deterrence matter?