"Living together" doesn't soothe the pains of divorce

It is almost a truism in my generation - "A couple should live together before they marry to test-drive the relationship." Even among some claiming the cross of Christ, it has become a de facto arrangement for many (the excuse usually being reduced expenses of cohabitation). But ethicists and theologians have warned for years that cohabitation is just like a marriage - without the assurance of actual promises or the protection of law. Now, we have proof in a new study which shows that cohabitating couples who split have all of the same pain and problems of divorcing spouses, but without any of the social or legal protections that married couples have available to them.

"I don't think there's any difference in how I felt after the fact, because it felt like it was a marriage," Emerson says. And when they broke up, "it still felt like it was a divorce."
Cohabiting is a significant emotional attachment, and when you break up, "it's going to hurt a lot," says Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. "By cohabiting vs. marrying, people aren't avoiding that aspect of pain."
And because cohabiting has become so widespread — more than 60% of couples who marry today live together first, studies have found — the number of court battles between former partners and the number of cohabitation agreements have increased during the past five years, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

There's a reason marriage was created - to provide a stable foundation for family, and to protect those willing to give up their own lives for those they love. Modern cohabitation has not improved upon it.

Admit it, you've had this same thought

Shameless Plug: VChe Glass Fusions

There is an old saying on the BlogSphere, "Why have a blog if you can't give your family members a boost now and then?" My aunt has opened a new business online - VChe Glass Fusions - which produces one-of-a-kind fused glass jewelry and wall hangings. A snippet from her bio follows.

My unique designs and attention to detail are the hallmarks of my work. The hand selected pieces of dichroic glass are cut, arranged and fused to display dazzling bursts of color. The eye is drawn to the sunlight bouncing off each piece like a kaleidoscope. My aim is for the wearer (or giver) to be recognized as a discriminating person of taste and elegance. Order a custom piece and I will be glad to design a piece to enhance your individuality.

We seem to have missed the Mother's Day window, but birthdays and anniversaries are always just around the corner. Take a look and see if it is something your significant other might enjoy.

Prayer Request: Our Dog Biscuit

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or who have spoken to me in-person the last few weeks are aware that our family has been going thru a minor crisis. Our dog Biscuit has been diagnosed with "significant" heart disease and some kind of gastrointestinal disorder. The heart disease is being treated with medication, but in order to treat her intestinal problem any further, she needs an endoscope. The endoscope, however, is dangerous because anesthesia is required, and anesthesia is always dangerous (potentially fatal) for a dog with heart problems. However, it has become clear she is NOT improving without this, so we have opted to have the vet do the endoscope today.

Please be praying for all of us and for little Biscuit today. Please pray that God guides the doctor's hands (both the vet and the anesthesiologist) so that they do their best to get the info they need without risking her life. Please pray that they can see what is wrong and know if there is a treatment. Please pray that we recieve comfort during this stressful day, and that once the doctor knows what is wrong that we have the required wisdom to know what to do next.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.