Why Americans will never embrace soccer (European Football)

I admit that I am mostly posting this to get the reaction of Sean and CRChair to this article which posits 7 reasons why soccer will never be a popular American sport. Personally, I only ever find soccer interesting if one of my friends is playing - and never if I am playing. But I have been lectured on numerous occasions by AYSO parents, referees, and players as to why I should find it interesting and how soccer is in fact the ultimate sport.

1. Americans don’t have the Attention Spans.
Soccer is a continuous game that is heavily influenced by a teams endurance and stamina. Unfortunately, Americans do not understand that concept. While the most popular sport in the United States involves watching a car go around a track for 600 miles, soccer is players running constantly for 90 minutes. Unlike soccer, however, NASCAR also involves the elements of horrendous crashes, pit stops, and fan favorites. Football also stops after every play, and during the four quarters of the game. The same goes for the innings of baseball, and the quarters of basketball.
2. Low Scores.
Because soccer is such a competitive and trying sport, the scores remain relatively few and far between. Americans like scoring, in all ways, forms, and meanings. Look at every other sport and their average scores, and then compare them to a high scoring soccer affair involving 5 – 6 goals. While scoring a goal is exciting, you have to remember spectators endure 90 minutes of passing balls and running in order to witness the goal.